I hope that you are well, and that you are enjoying your summer. I only have one week left *sobs*. Actually though it will be nice to see all my friends and get back into school. It's been so long since I've really had to use my brain that I have to think about basic things an unusual amount. Anyway I'm writing this blog post because I learnt something yesterday which is probably obvious to many but for me it feels like it will be something that stays with me, if that makes sense.
Unfortunately, I'm going to have to stop running. I've obviously done something to greatly anger the gods because it turns out all this time I've been running it's been damaging my hips and my knees and my feet and all these things which are rather important. I have flat feet, so the arches of my feet are very low, I hardly have any. This means that my legs turn inwards right up to the hip, and my pelvis tilts forwards and basically running has messed up my body. So I have to stop to prevent further damage. The things is, over the past two yeas, running has become a big part of my life. I have put literal blood sweat and tears into where I am today. I'm not brilliant, by any stretch of the imagination. You will not see me at Tokyo 2020. But I was brilliant compared to where I started.
Something else I will have to come to terms with is that I am not built to run. I have broad shoulders, wide hips, big thighs and short legs. No, I don't actually look like a marshmallow and I am not fat, but I'm not built skinny either. I always thought that despite everything against me that if I worked hard enough I could get there. Sadly, what I have to face is that some things are just out of your control. I am extremely opposed to that. My determination is something that I am proud of. I have this idea that I can do absolutely anything if I work for it. Believe me, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. This attitude has taken me many places, and helped me achieve a lot. I just need to face that I am not made to run, so I have to stop.
The problem is that running is like part of my identity. It's something I do. What will I be without running? I have a hole in my life now that I need to fill. What should I fill it with? It will have to be a sport, because running is around 50% of my exercise. It's been recommended to me that I try archery. I know I'm good at shooting (which is slightly worrying. It's a slightly strange natural talent to have). Maybe I should cycle. I like cycling. Or swim. I like swimming. But swimming is less accessible for me. What do I do?
To get to the point, I'm writing this because it's difficult to give up something you love because your body can't handle it. So many other people can run fine, but it's destroying my hips. It almost makes my body feel inadequate. For now, I'm giving yoga a shot because I enjoying and I want to test my strength and see how far I can go with it. Also there are lots of great guided yoga sessions on YouTube. My favourite channels are Yoga by Candace and Yoga with Adriene.
If you have any suggestions or ideas, or a story of your own to share please leave a comment because I could not find any other stories on the internet about people giving up running because they had to. They were all about people who just fell out of it because they were feeling lazy.
My grandfather said "there is no point bashing your nose against the wall until it bleeds. Find something that works with what you've got."
The End,
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