I just watched a video by Ingrid Nilsen about gender equality, it's great, watch it before you read this, get involved. See it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9t9XvB8b-w
At one point she mentions gender fluidity, and it got me thinking about types. Categories of gender, categories of sexuality, categories of race, and so many more.
There is so much pressure to be in one of those categories. Many young people stress about fitting into a gender, race or sexuality type. I think that "types" shouldn't be seen as necessary. Be whoever you want to be, and be who you are. I know that race isn't quite the same as far as expression, but what I mean when I say racial categories is people who are mixed race. Technically, every person on Earth is mixed race, so if, like me, you are, don't feel pressured to say that your are a certain race. I am very proud of my heritage. I come from all over the world, and I love that.
You don't have to say that you like men or women. Personally, I have pretty much always been attracted to boys. There have been a few girls that I have thought also looked attractive, but I don't think I've ever had a crush on a girl. I am pretty sure that the person I marry will be male. It's a personal preference. To me it would feel a bit weird to marry a woman. Not because it's wrong but just for me it's not really the way I swing. Saying this though, I am completely open to the idea of marrying a girl if the person I love is female. Or maybe they aren't male of female but identify themselves as a different gender. As long as we wholeheartedly love each other. If you asked me what my sexuality is, I would say I am straight. Another person on Youtube I really like is Dodie Clark (check her out here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke5EDEk9vvI ) and in this video she says a quote that goes: "I don't fall in love with men or women, I fall in love with people". I have never been in love (honestly I'm a bit young for that) but I know that I will remember this quote for a long time. To me it is a beautiful quote and something worth remembering. When I do fall in love, it will not be necessarily with a man or a woman, but simply with a person. And I think that's beautiful.
I just want to say that it's not the description of sexuality that I have an issue with. If you are attracted to men and women and you choose to describe yourself as bisexual I have no problem with that. I say I am straight. I do however have a problem with the pressure people receive to place themselves in a category. What if you don't fit in a category? That's fine. What if you do? Also fine. Because we have these "main" categories people who don't necessarily fit in them feel like they are different. And some people feel that there is something wrong with them. We need to stop this. There is nothing wrong with having categories. Just make them all equal in society. Make them all equally known about and so that people who identify as something other than straight or gay can feel that they are included. We are all people and no one should ever be put down wether it is intentionally or unintentionally because of their sexuality or gender.
So how can we make a difference? Teach your children. I don't have children, I am far too young. But when I am older and I (hopefully) have my own children, I will teach them that you can have any sexuality. Children are taught to assume that they are straight, so that if the child finds that they don't fit into that description it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety, also paving the way for another generation where not all genders and sexualities are widely accepted. I am going to teach my children that you can love anyone, it doesn't matter if they are male or female or transgender or androgynous or any of the other genders that exist. People are people. Children are taught that everyone is unique but it is not extended to sexuality or gender. I'm not saying that you need to tell your three year old everything about sexuality. But we can say to our children that some girls love girls and some girls love boys, and vice versa. I want to make it clear that I am not saying that everyone apart from a few are not tolerant of all genders, that is not true. But we all know that not all genders and sexualities are widely accepted, and this needs to change.
You are you. There are so many different things to identify you other than your race, or gender, or sexuality. Maybe you are amazing at playing the violin, or drums. Maybe you are really kind and generous, and a great friend. Maybe you are really good at Maths, or Science, or English. Or maybe you are great at football or horse riding. Why should anyone have to fit into a particular box based on the people they are attracted to, or how they identify compared to their biological sex.
Don't worry about your sexuality or your gender. Just go wherever you want, whatever you feel like at the time. Instead, think about how you talk to people, the way you treat them and the way you carry yourself. Think about enjoying your life, and helping others that need it. I have this very basic philosophy that as long as what you are doing isn't negatively affecting anyone else, it's fine.
This was a very long post, but I had a lot to say and there is no way I could fit everything into a reasonably sized blog post anyway. I have so much more to say than this, but I think this is a good place to start.
I'm sorry for how rambly this got. I felt like I needed to say this. Let me know what you think on Twitter and Instagram and in the comments of this post. I was slightly scared to put this up because I was worried that I would accidentally offend someone. I'm really sorry if I've said something wrong about gender, or race, or sexuality. That was not the intention of the post and please let me know so that I can change it. It's quite a delicate topic, but I'm writing this as an attempt to try and help change that.
No matter your gender, or race or sexuality, you are a beautiful person. There will never be anyone like you ever again, and there never had been anyone like you before. Embrace who you are because you are the only you there will ever be. And embrace everyone around you for the same reason.
The End,
